How to Raise Independent Children

Bincang Inspiratif Live On Stage is back with another round of inspiring discussions. Created by Tanoto Foundation, this podcast provides a platform for sharing valuable insights on maternal and child health, education, scholarships, and parenting tips. In this episode, Bayu Oktara hosts a conversation with content creator Sabrina Anggraini and clinical child psychologist Saskhya Aulia Prima from the University of Indonesia.

Sabrina shared that her primary focus is to create comfort and trust in her child, Launa, starting when Launa was just six months old. She emphasized the importance of knowing when to intervene when Launa cries, balancing intervention without making her accustomed to prolonged crying. Sabrina noted that some parents may let their babies cry to make them realize that help will not always come immediately, but she takes a different approach.

She also discussed how she fosters independence in Launa by encouraging her to make small decisions and complete simple tasks. Although children may make mistakes initially, Sabrina believes that these experiences are essential for learning. She also reflected on her own unique childhood, shaped by her parents’ approach.

In addition, Sabrina highlighted the collaborative parenting approach she and her husband practice, making them effective thinking partners. Her husband, who frequently researches child development, is equally invested in Launa’s growth. For instance, when Launa was six months old, they set developmental standards together, considering appropriate stimulations at home. Despite their busy professional lives, both parents strive to spend quality time with their daughter.

On the other hand, Saskhya provided insights into fostering independence in children. She mentioned that the process can start as early as possible, with consistency becoming more feasible when children are around 1.5 to two years old. She recommends giving children the freedom to make choices, such as selecting their clothes or deciding between different foods. This allows children to experience decision-making and its consequences.

According to Saskhya, guiding children to think and make their own decisions is particularly beneficial for parents with multiple children. When the eldest child is more self-sufficient, parents can dedicate more time to younger siblings. She explained that engaging children in discussions about their needs and choices helps them learn problem-solving and become more resilient. The level of discussion evolves as children grow, making independence more than just a technical skill.

Saskhya also highlighted the importance of instilling independence to help children become self-reliant. She mentioned instances from her practice where older children struggled to make simple decisions, like choosing an ice cream flavor. Misconceptions about independence can lead to the belief that it equates to total autonomy, but children still need guidance and support when facing challenges. Instilling values requires patience, as children may initially resist new responsibilities. Transitioning to greater self-sufficiency is a gradual process, encouraging children to become more responsible over time.

Want a deeper look into this fruitful conversation? Catch the full episode of the Tanoto Foundation Bincang Inspiratif podcast here: